Communication Skills - the very essence of a happy work and life.

     This is an old cartoon emphasising how important it is to have excellent communication skills. Many a times, I see people who are study smart, or intellectually brilliant but unable to enunciate their needs or wants to their colleagues, friends, subordinates and bosses.

     You can be a driven, motivated person, but if your boss doesn't see you as such, then the impression works against you. So, communciate well. Your eye to eye contact, your pitch of voice, your sitting position, your dressing for the occasion, your demeanor, your charm,composure and manners. All these are the unconscious signals you send (whether you are aware or not) to the persons around you. How you carry yourself, in short.  I never mentioned a single thing about substance or message which you are trying to send. Even a greeting is practised to perfection if you want to impress somebody. 

     The last great Republican President, Ronald Reagan, was an excellent communicator. He wasn't a brilliant intellectual like Barack Obama. He was a Grade 'B' actor acting in many films which in short didn't win him any awards. But his presentation and acting skills were put to good use, when he acted for the Screen Actors Guild against the Hollywood bosses. From there, his star began to shine and he went from strength to strength. Many people rate him as the Big Gipper or the 'Great Communicator',he was idolised by many in the American population for his strength under duress. But he wasn't a brilliant person, only mouthing many ideas and thoughts of his backroom teams. 

     Most of us have only our brains as our backroom teams. So, use it all the time. Do not make impulsive decisions or use words carelessles without thinking beforehand, espescially in work situations

when meeting especially with customers and vendors.

      Look at the cartoon again. Put your brain into gear before opening your mouth. Offer non-verbal communication when and wherever you can. It is an art. Practice makes perfect. 

Bangkok is facing the crisis of epic proportions

Raw Video: Floods Swamp Bangkok Neighborhoods by associatedpress

Bangkok facing massive flood crisis - worst in over 50 years.

      I called several friends today by phone, and was shocked and saddened to learn that a business associate has lost his house totally submerged to the floods in Thailand, the worst ever in over 50 years. Several other friends' companies are also partially submerged, ruining millions of Baht of equipment. Over 1000 factories are affected, many shut for the forseeable future, and our old customers such as AAT Auto Alliance Thailand (Ford Mazda) has its production lines stopped due to parts stoppage from parts suppliers who are shut or worse. Toyota has shut its factory and so has Honda too as of today. Many thousands of car owners are parking their cars on the high flyovers in Bangkok to prevent them from being washed away or flooded making them totally out of use.

       I thank God, for divine providence, I was all ready to invest into a new venture into Thailand by June of this year but somehow did not do so, instead decided to expand further into my home country Singapore.

       I pray for all the friends whose jobs, livelihoods, businesses and homes are being threatened or wiped out every hour of each passing day. Lets hope this disaster ends soon.  After this, ALL OF US should take ownership of our actions which is causing Global Warming and causing freaky weather patterns, polar caps melting, and rising tides.

Club Med Bintan 22nd - 24th June 2003

My father Geoffrey (83), son Noel (7 years) and mother Anna (73)

Andrew, triumphant with his potato crisp

Can I have some please ?

My father and mother dining at Club Med Bintan

          With regards to my post earlier about my son Andrew, here are the pictures of that famous Bintan trip in 2003, the first picture up at the top shows them in the ferry with Noel in between his grandparents taking the 1 hour ferry ride. As I recall, we went for 2 trips to Bintan first in 2002 and then in 2003, after which my father suffered a fall in November 2003 which weakened his legs.

          Andrew (2nd picture) was extremely successful in extracting maximum benefit from all the holidaying families on board the ferry. I am reminded of the saying "when there is a will, there is a way" so it is always good to stay positive and not be disheartened when things do not go exactly as you planned it.

         Our family had alot of fun at Club Med, with the grandparents enjoying the beach and sea-breezes, us parents playing tennis and swimming, and the boys doing everything from playing the water-slides, tennis, and archery. Club Med also has a Kid's Club where you can park your young ones and let the minders take care of their entire activity. We let the boys go and have fun for 1 day while we had time to ourselves. 

         The 4th picture shows my Dad and Mum dining at Club Med Bintan. The great thing about Club Med is that its an 'all-inclusive package' for 1 price per person, so food, drinks (wine and beer) are all free flow. However, we had young children along, it wasn't good to quaffle too much and get drunk lest you give them the wrong impression !

         A memorable trip, for me, May, my parents and definitely for the boys. 

Worried about you - Rolling Stones 1981

     The MTV version of the song performed by the Stones in 1981, just after the album Tattoo You was released, I believe it was the Rock Album of the Year. As you can see from the video, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards (Lead Guitar), Charlie Watts (drummer), Ronnie Wood (Bass) and Chris Perkins were thoroughly enjoying the session even though it was in front of the cameras.

     I suspect Mick, Keith and definitely Charlie were into some drugs then, as can be seen by their rather stoned out expressions, but as rock and roll stars, its "par for the course" or common practice in the Western world.

    My best slow rock song at the moment !

Coolest 65+ elderly gentlemen in the world - The Rolling Stones

Rock On Guys ; Rock On !!

Happy Birthday Andrew - in advance !

Family portrait in Egypt 2009

Andrew is on the extreme right, Noel is to my right.

     In 10 days time, my younger son will be 14, a fully fledged teenager. How time flies. I still recall the days when he was a baby, and he had a thick shock of hair, a mango-shaped head and smiled many times to everybody. When he was a toddler, he charmed many people, with his winsome smile and easy demeanour. He was never short of people wanting to carry him.

    One trip, some 9 years ago, my parents and our family went for a 3 day 2 night stay at Club Med Bintan, Indonesia. Andrew was around 4 years old, and was a real bundle of energy- as I recall. My wife, May had packed for the 1 hour ferry trip plus half hour bus trip to the resort, alot of nice healthy fruits and cooling drinks, fearing that the boys would be out running around in the hot sun, and sea, and eating all kinds of junk food.  So anyway, as we were in the ferry for the 1 hour ride, every other family, had bags and bags of potato crisps, and soft drinks.  So, being the street smart fellow all of 4 years old, Andrew ignored the fruits and barley drink which May had offered to him. Instead, he went all around the ferry and started chatting with the fellow holidaymakers, total strangers. With his winsome smile, charm and some pathetic looks, he managed to get (this is no joke), enough packets of potato crisps to feed him and his brother, Noel. We we stunned speechless to say the least. This boy can fend for himself in future life, I think. 

       Happy Birthday in advance Andrew !!

        

Sports Karate Anyone ?

     The Karate Club which I have been an active member of for the last 10 years is on a recruitment drive. Helmed by Sensei Chia Kwek Fah, who holds the title of "Hanshi" and has a 7th dan Black Belt in Shitoryu style karate. We conduct our classes every Sunday from 6.00 to 7.30 pm. Interested participants can come a little earlier and speak with the class instructors, Sensei Mickey Tay or Sensei Jason Chua who can assess their fitness and flexibility level.

      Whilst running is an excellent cardiovascular and aerobic exercise, one must cross train, so either swimming, martial arts or the softer exercises like yoga and Pilates would be recommended for one's personal fitness regimen used together with running. From the sports experts, one needs to have training in the following 4 key areas to fully achieve the benefits of fitness, they are :

a) Endurance (running, cycling, triathlon,walking,swimming)

b) Flexibility  (Yoga, martial arts, Pilates)

c) Strength (Weights training)

d) Balance (Martial arts, Yoga) 

    Exercising of Core muscles (belly) area is a must for middle aged men like myself. So there are alot of leg raises, crunches, turning kicks, poses such as the cat stance, which require core or stomach strength.It is essential that core muscles are first strengthened before attempting to do these exercises. Hanshi Chia also holds a Bach of Sports Science (Edith Cowan, Australia) and is well qualified to train not oly karatekas but also can offer body conditioning classes.

    There are currently about 50 regular trainees, ranging from 5 years to 60 years old, so I am not the oldest !!  

    So stop sleeping the whole afternoon on Sunday, get up and work that body !! 

       

Elderly Man in Tiong Bahru Market Food Court

This elderly man was trying to talk to anybody around him

This morning while having my fish porridge breakfast at Tiong Bahru market, I noticed an elderly man, in his 60s having a cup of coffee. Midway through his coffee he put it down and started to mutter first to himself and later to the 2 elderly women next to him, who ignored him. He also tried to talk with another woman seated across him, but she ignored him too.

In relation to my earlier post, when one has developed a purposeful life, sometimes it is sad to see people like the elderly man, with no friends or no one to talk to. My parents are great examples of people who have lived full, purposeful lives and helped many people in times of need, paying for the University education, in their jobs, and creating opportunities for many young and not so young people. They were always popular with many friends right up to the day they passed away. It is with great admiration that I can learn from my parents' examples and I hope I can develop that kind of success which they had demonstrated all those wonderful years and touched the lives of many.

What is the point of dying rich, in a big house, with many millions in the bank and no one bothers to come for your funeral ??      

How does one define and achieve Success ?

Picture taken from 'Entertainment Daily'

     This endearing picture above shows a little boy standing on the beach, with his hands clenched on a fistful of sand and staring determinedly at the photo-taker. He has a look of determination on his face, which says "come what may, I will overcome".

     Well, it is only partly true, in my book. Having been running a business as well as raising a family, for almost 20 years, we should all look at ourselves and define, what is success actually ?  I recall playing the game called  "Careers" or  "The Game of Life" whereby the playing board represents Life and one goes out to achieve a total of 60 units of either  a) Fame (celebrity)   b) Money (tycoon) or 

c) Love ( Hard to define this person, but I guess someone who is in Love).  If only life were that simple.

      Money, for almost everyone on this planet, with the exception for a few lucky souls like Royal families, and scions of billionaires, is very important of course. But there are many people who have worked and slogged and made a pile and find that at the end of life, a certain emptiness. A lack of creating a footprint for others to follow. So while Money is important, but the endless pursuit of wealth will leave one devoid of empathy, or concern for one's fellow man.  I find these never ending pursuits of the so called 5 Cs quite disturbing in our rich and plentiful Singapore. For those who are not familiar, the 5 "C"s young people strive to achieve are a) Condo b) Car  c) Country Club d) Career and e) Cash

       All these have to do with material things.  Young and not so young people strive to drive the latest sports car or status car offerings, while the women carry the latest designer handbags and sport the 3 karat diamond rings. They may offer satisfaction, but only for a short while, before the yearning for something bigger or better or flashier. So making a lot of money is not Success.

       How about Fame, well some people want to be seen with the stars and crave attention. See all the famous Hollywood, Bollywood, JPop, KPop and HK stars. They make alot of money, have all the attention BUT have no private life. They have major crises, take drugs, gamble, have affairs and are afflicted with all or even worse problems than us 'nobodies'. So, Fame is also not Success.

      Love, ah, Love is always the one true emotion. Yes, one can have alot of Love, but can we get by with giving Love to our loved ones and live on fresh air, love and music ?  Dream on !  Love is an emotion, so we all have the capacity to give and receive Love. So Love by itself is not Success.

       So what does one do to achieve Success ?? First lets try to define Success.

      In my humble opinion, first look critically at your own life. Identify what you want to change for yourself. It may be trying to improve your standard of living, your car or apartment, or even taking more holidays. Once you have identified and managed to achieve them, STOP. Look around you, there are many many more millions of people worse off than you. Why go on and on the merry-go-round of endless upgrading form HDB flat, to Condominium to House, to MASSIVE DEBT ?

     GAINING OF MATERIAL THINGS IN LIFE IS NOT SUCCESS, ITS MEANINGLESS !!

      So in short, SUCCESS in LIFE is TAKING THE PURPOSEFUL JOURNEY.
      IT HAS NO END POINT.

Living a purposeful life helping one's family, community, friends or religion without a thought for one's situation is a Success story in itself. But before one can start doing that, he must be financially secure and have relevant income streams so that Money and Family stability are not compromised. Here is where, everyone deviates or does not agree upon. What is Financial Stability ?? $10,000 ? $100,000 ?
 $ 1 Million ? $ 10 Million ? That magic number depends on one's personal sense of comfort. A hypothetical example, take Mr. A : " I am 45, I have a flat, my kids have finished school and I take public transport to work. Wife is a good cook and we dine out at restaurants once a month. I have saved $ 100,000 for my next 5 years and can start to do some community work or help out in my Church outreach. Its time I gave back after having taken from others all these years. "

     Very noble. I salute these people. These are the true Success stories in this dog-eat-dog world.

      So, in the end, the church,temple and mosque helpers will say, "Doesn't matter. God will provide"  However, in many  circumstances, but there are many hard luck stories who have fallen by the wayside in the pursuit of the wrong goals and have relentlessly used or adopted these mannerisms in their daily life. I list them down, these are the 7 Deadly Sins.

1. Lust
2. Greed
3. Sloth   (Laziness)
4. Anger
5. Gluttony
6. Hatred
7. Envy

So in short, I would define Success in one's own sphere of life, as being able to do what he/she wants, growing in character, and ultimately in helping others without much thought of one's well being. To get to that point, one needs to take stock of one's own life and be SATISFIED with whatever he already has, and not be green with envy that the neighbour has gotten a new and bigger car than him, or is going for holidays every 3 months while he has to slog just to pay the bills.

To achieve success, one has to have these traits or acquire these attitudes :

a)  Dogged Determination to reach the goal   40%
b)  Resilience in bad times   30%
c)  Vision to dream where he wants to be 30%

Seize the Day my friends. Life is there for Living. Don't Moan or worse Bad Mouth others. Be a Winner and Doer not a Whiner and Drop Outer.

Farewell Steve Jobs - You certainly changed our world for the better

Kylie Minogue

     Kylie is definately the pop princess of this 2 decades. While Lady Gaga is more the alternative rock with some questionable dressing style and shock persona, Kylie is all gamour, class with a very techno-pop infused latest album (2010) called Aphrodite.
      This is the last song of the album. Should have been released as a single.