Reflections on this day

              Today I turned one year older, although chronologically I am a year older, in actual fact, I am aging each day of my life.  Time and tide waits for no man (or woman) and I am fortunate to have a wonderful wife and good children as the foundation for me to focus life's goals on. At times, I do get frustrated when the children do not appreciate the things and the privileged life which they have. But in hindsight, I also had the privilege of a very fortunate childhood and young adulthood, mainly thanks to my parents who instilled upon me values such as honesty,working hard for a living, respecting my parents and superiors and being modest. I am also grateful to them for instilling the competitive spirit in my attitude, although that trait is probably inborn. They gave me the exposure to swimming competitively, karate for discipline and also many travels from as young an age as 10 years old.


               The well -off  youth of today have never had it so good, they are travelling as early as infants, have been to perhaps 4 - 5 continents by the time they are young adults or in their mid 20s. And, judging from my birthday dinner at a swanky Chinese restaurant in town this evening, many young people are also able to afford dinners at top class restaurants of all cuisines in Singapore. 


So the young people it appears - or the 'strawberry generation' soft and bruise easily, are


a) materialistic - they want the best things in life NOW   
b) well off - can buy a sports car (from their parents money of course), fancy meals and 
     take exotic holidays and visit the most 'happening' night spots to blow away their parents 
    money.
c) have no real direction in life because everything is laid out or prepared for them


           How lucky these young people are !!  But how many sports cars, or holidays, or fancy meals does one take before he is sick of this ? See what good has Paris Hilton or Lindsay
Lohan brought to themselves and their families. Party girls and boys become an embarrassment after their shelf life has gone out. Its time for them to look at what life is or are they too full of drugs and alcohol even to analyse their sorry state.


          But many times these young people do not know it. They assume everyone is like them and feel that this life is the norm. But the reality of it all, is that in Singapore, the income inequality is huge between the rich and the poor. There are many young people who cannot afford even 3 basic meals a day, and only eat 1 meal. Many live with some relatives or move from place to place if the parents divorce or domestic problems cannot be settled. Many families live from 'hand to mouth'.


         Its time to put things to perspective. I would like to teach my children and myself that selflessness is an ideal, and helping the poor will give us an insight into what our lives really mean to us.    


         Its time to get real about the hard reality of life.   

Beijing Tour 8 - 12 March 2008

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     A short trip taken to Beijing by my wife May and younger son Andrew in March 2008.
     Andrew has since grown much taller and leaner in the 2 and a half years since this
     picture - movie.

Korea Ski Trip 10 - 17 Dec 2007

Wake and Funeral Service on 21st September 2010 - Geoffrey Abisheganaden

   Testing the Picasa 3 Movie making function.Click on screen to run movie.

Fathers play your part

                                                         Watching a Movie together

      It was sad to read in the newspapers about the resurgence of street corner gangs, made up of teenagers and even young children (as young as 8 years old), as has been reported in the Straits Times the last 2 weeks. The case of  one Darren Ng, who was murdered in a gang fight recently in Downtown East  is shocking and while the police do their part to apprehend and put to justice the culprits, lets take a deep look into this sad facet of our fast paced, so called highly developed society and the problems which are now surfacing. I am not an expert in any way on gangs and their culture, but the gangs in Singapore are the end result of a need for the youth to get engaged in activities which are meaningful and will enrich themselves and those around them. I mean this in a spiritual and emotional way.


        Many can blame the breakdown of the family to today's jobs which are a) fast paced b) expect people to put in long hours on the computer and in overseas travel c) highly stressed d) lacking in a proper work-life balance.


        Imagine a dual income household where both parents are busy working to make a decent living. Grandparents nowadays don't want to be a burden to their children so would prefer their own privacy and live elsewhere so there arises this generation of 'latchkey children'. Son or daughter comes home to an empty house in the afternoon, and there is only a computer or TV for company, so it is quite logical he will want to have some 'family time' with his outside 'family' or friends. So if he or she mixes with the wrong company, then the problem starts. This is just based on a relatively well -off dual income family.


       How about a dysfunctional broken apart by divorce, or jail or one where one parent has passed away ? It is doubly lonely for the children. The parent has to make supreme effort to be there for the children and that takes time.


      Finally, a plea to those fathers including myself, the children, especially the young boys who will turn to men, need you as the father figure to show them the way ahead. Our actions, attitudes and presence in making time for the family is ever so important now, as if you are not there, the results as seen in recent weeks are disastrous. 


     This is a story to illustrate my message, there was once this young man who lived by the sea, he would love to take walks along the beach and would often jog and sit and watch the waves rush in and slowly move out. Once, the tide had gone out and he was shocked to find that on his beach, there were more than a thousand starfishes stranded by the fast receding tide.
     
     Stunned into action, he ran and started picking the starfishes one by one, knowing he had little time to save them as the day was fast turning into night and he could not see. The tide would come back up in about 12 hours,but many starfishes would be dead by then. So he ran along the beach and picked up each starfish and flung them back into the sea. Soon, he was walking slowly picking up each starfish and walked to the edge of the ocean and threw them into the sea. His task was impossible and he was getting tired by attempting his mammoth task.


     A middle- aged man walked by and was struck by this boy's enthusiasm and attitude. He called out to the boy and said, "young man, what are you doing ?" 


" Saving the starfishes sir" came the answer, the boy answered wearily.


"Do you know that there are thousands of them stranded on this beach ? the ligjt is fading fast and it will be night soon. What difference will it make ? "


The boy, picked up a starfish and walked near to the ocean, and threw it into the sea.


" I made a difference to THIS ONE".  the boy replied.


 Even if we can make a difference to the lives of just one starfish or young person, it is worth the time and the effort. 


      Do your part, fathers. 

Why is rock music 'evil' ?

             This is a classic video from Coldplay, one of Britain's top bands featuring Chris Martin (lead singer and husband of Gwyneth Paltrow) and is very entertaining.

              Rock music (some anyway) has been labelled satanic, morally decandent and imbibing all the wrong values in the youth. But give it (this genre) a break ! Why ? Its been around for 60 years, since Bill Haley and the Comets, Elvis Prestly, the Everly Brothers, the Beatles and Chuck Berry and countless others have been giving the baby boomers (those born from 1946 till 1975) endless hours of enjoyment, and hey, every new generation which comes after the previous one always gives the former a great deal of concern and headaches. There is a certain billionaire called Bono (frontman for the band U2) who has been at the forefront of charity work in Africa, helping thousands if not millions of starving Africans better their lives. And don't forget Sir Bob Geldof (Boomtown Rats) with his "Do they knowits Christmas album" and Voices that Care - all made their money through rock music and other popular music media, and helping millions in the process.

             Sure, there was the rise of the drug culture during the 60s, but rock and roll was only one aspect of the 'freedom movement' which was so vibrant representing the Flower Power of the youth. The youth of those times were no different from each generations' youth, they just want to do things their 'own way'much to the consternation of the older generation.

            So the establishment (that is people like you and I who are middle aged, married probably with or without kids and are earning a decent income) will feel threatened that the next generation is going to the dogs with their music, attitudes,  drugs, gangs, reverse messages etc. etc.

           So I say to these people, "grow up and think logically". Our children will grow up just fine provided we give them the necessary guidance,values, love and most importantly, our time. Music is part and parcel of our subculture, like it or not. Its been around for centuries and will continue to evolve for centuries to come

       Rock music, House music, Rap music etc. are just forms of stimulating our young minds. They are about as evil as tomorrow's newspapers. We just need to provide the young minds with the correct perspective, understand the fine line between the what is legal and illegal  and encourage debate.  

        Up till today I can't understand the appeal of Justin Bieber , does that mean he is evil ??

KSK Club Photos Collage

                  Another Collage of my Karate Club where I have been training for the last 8 years.

                  Chief Instructor : Sensei Chia Kwek Fah ; 7th Dan Shitoryu Karate

                  Asst. Instructor : Mickey Tey ; 2nd Dan