It was sad to read in the newspapers about the resurgence of street corner gangs, made up of teenagers and even young children (as young as 8 years old), as has been reported in the Straits Times the last 2 weeks. The case of one Darren Ng, who was murdered in a gang fight recently in Downtown East is shocking and while the police do their part to apprehend and put to justice the culprits, lets take a deep look into this sad facet of our fast paced, so called highly developed society and the problems which are now surfacing. I am not an expert in any way on gangs and their culture, but the gangs in Singapore are the end result of a need for the youth to get engaged in activities which are meaningful and will enrich themselves and those around them. I mean this in a spiritual and emotional way.
Many can blame the breakdown of the family to today's jobs which are a) fast paced b) expect people to put in long hours on the computer and in overseas travel c) highly stressed d) lacking in a proper work-life balance.
Imagine a dual income household where both parents are busy working to make a decent living. Grandparents nowadays don't want to be a burden to their children so would prefer their own privacy and live elsewhere so there arises this generation of 'latchkey children'. Son or daughter comes home to an empty house in the afternoon, and there is only a computer or TV for company, so it is quite logical he will want to have some 'family time' with his outside 'family' or friends. So if he or she mixes with the wrong company, then the problem starts. This is just based on a relatively well -off dual income family.
How about a dysfunctional broken apart by divorce, or jail or one where one parent has passed away ? It is doubly lonely for the children. The parent has to make supreme effort to be there for the children and that takes time.
Finally, a plea to those fathers including myself, the children, especially the young boys who will turn to men, need you as the father figure to show them the way ahead. Our actions, attitudes and presence in making time for the family is ever so important now, as if you are not there, the results as seen in recent weeks are disastrous.
This is a story to illustrate my message, there was once this young man who lived by the sea, he would love to take walks along the beach and would often jog and sit and watch the waves rush in and slowly move out. Once, the tide had gone out and he was shocked to find that on his beach, there were more than a thousand starfishes stranded by the fast receding tide.
Stunned into action, he ran and started picking the starfishes one by one, knowing he had little time to save them as the day was fast turning into night and he could not see. The tide would come back up in about 12 hours,but many starfishes would be dead by then. So he ran along the beach and picked up each starfish and flung them back into the sea. Soon, he was walking slowly picking up each starfish and walked to the edge of the ocean and threw them into the sea. His task was impossible and he was getting tired by attempting his mammoth task.
A middle- aged man walked by and was struck by this boy's enthusiasm and attitude. He called out to the boy and said, "young man, what are you doing ?"
" Saving the starfishes sir" came the answer, the boy answered wearily.
"Do you know that there are thousands of them stranded on this beach ? the ligjt is fading fast and it will be night soon. What difference will it make ? "
The boy, picked up a starfish and walked near to the ocean, and threw it into the sea.
" I made a difference to THIS ONE". the boy replied.
Even if we can make a difference to the lives of just one starfish or young person, it is worth the time and the effort.
Do your part, fathers.
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