Histrionic Personality Disorder HPD

                                         With friends at a recent lunch.

             Any reference to the HPD is totally not related to anyone in this photo

The last few weeks I have been following the Johnny Depp Amber Heard defamation trial closely and several of the new personality disorders raised up by the Depp psychologists and plaintiff team are the 2 below :

1. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

2. Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)

The amazing thing about this trial is that thanks to the cameras rolling in the court, a lot of the everyday 'interactions' between partners, spouses, colleagues and friends can be located along a broad spectrum of behaviors, and some can be considered 'controlling'. The 3 types of 'controlling techniques' which one partner can impose on the other can be one specific or up to three rolled in together. 

a) verbal : nagging, incessant scolding, gaslighting and the like 

b) psychological : offloading the sense of guilt to the other partner so that the partner feels inferior or insecure in the relationship.

c) physical : this is the worst and can range from simple 'coralling', or guiding to restraint and even some physicality between partners.

Do note, that I specifically DID NOT mention 'abuse'.   

The bottom line with every relationship it is best to have a 'give and take' attitude, so that both partners can emerge from it relatively happy and satisfied.

Let me take a deeper dive into the second personality disorder.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

I do know personally of 2 such persons exhibiting such behavior which is typified by 5 behavior patterns :

1. Attention and approval seeking continuously from those around them, from their partners, friends and colleagues. He or she will feel uncomfortable in the presence of others if he or she does not stand out  

2. Seeking affirmation and 'likes' from friends, and even strangers - Facebook and Youtube are 2 such platforms on social media which attenuate these kinds of behaviours.

3. Emotional Overreaction - he or she will revel in drama almost on a daily basis.

4. Dress provocatively and always talk suggestive to people around them.

5. Excessive Gaslighting ; blaming other people for their failures. It is almost never their fault. 

Causes

1.Genetic and Psychological. The person may have been brought up in a very entitled manner and expecting everything to be done for him or her and according to his whims and fancies. Or, it may be a trait pertinent to his family.  

2. Close and Traumatic events in his or her past, such as a divorce, or death of a close family member, spouse or friend. 

The Result 

The person(s) will have multiple issues keeping close relationships and having proper relationships where people are seen to be avoiding their company and there presence. 

I have kept my distance with at least one such person, although he is not a 'bad' person per say. 

There are treatments available, however, the person first and foremost needs to acknowledge that the problem lies with him or her, before seeking treatment and then trying to find solutions to mitigating their problem so that they can be happier and create and maintain more satisfying relationships with the nearest and their dearest. 

Case Study  

The friend who (in my opinion only) checks all the boxes for the HPD once was invited by me to attend some martial arts (karate) class conducted by our school (dojo) as he had stopped class for several years to take care of a loved one.

He tends to think highly of himself and states that he was good at this and that in school. So, it was with the karate class, he was readying himself to return to the fold, so to speak.

As it turned out, on the day itself, he could hardly keep up after 30 minutes and dropped out of class. Although he had a senior belt (Brown 2) his fitness was nowhere near some of our senior members. So he took leave and rested and went home. Such was his demeanor, and lack of courtesy that although no one in our dojo stated it, I felt that this guy was 'all talk and show and no action'. (NATO).

A week later, I invited him to join in the drinks with the rest of the trainees, and it was there where he badmouthed some very senior instructor in another dojo where he and his family used train frequently. He cited racial prejudice, and I stopped him short of creating further animosity with the use of  his words and citing that the  person  he mentioned was a man of high standing and great moral character. He would never do such a thing, especially in the public domain and even in realm of  personal interrelationships, he is a class gentleman. 

To badmouth a person behind his back, especially when he is a friend and a respected member of the karate fraternity is nothing short of exhibiting low class and shallow behavior and attitude.

If he is not up to standard, and cannot meet the mark of achieving the Gold Standard of a Black Belt, he first has to acknowledge his inadequacies, then try his very best to 'up his game', train harder and put in more time  to reach the level required.

In short, "shut up, double down and try again".  

I took my friend to task, because slander of a person behind his back is a very serious thing when it is unjustified.

Conclusion

People such as him need counselling and medical assessment (I am not a psychologist) to prevent further erosion of his esteem and his interpersonal relationships will be strengthened much further in the coming years ahead.