"Stress is Everywhere "
Roman Emperor Trajan seems to be saying
Stress is everywhere. That is a fact. Singapore, like all major cities is fighting economically with many other metropolis in the world for the best investments, funds, talent in form of people, ideas and of course money.
Everyone is in a race to the top, to make it financially. Parents make every effort to buy or rent property so that they can get their children into a school of choice, a 'brand name' school so to speak. Once in, they then help their kids with tuition, remedial classes, enrichment classes and ECA. The trend of online gaming has boomed ten fold from just 5 years. ago. More and more people are shunning social contact - and COVID-19 with its severe lockdowns has made things worse - and turning into cyberspace to find friendships, and partake in the numerous online games with very violent themes. DOTA, League of Legends and Diablo to just name 3.
Many of the young are in a world of their own, while their parents are out making money to afford them the condos or places near the 'good schools' so to speak. The result is that we often see young people out at eating establishments together but hardly speaking to each other, everyone seems to be hunched over their smartphone and playing the latest games, or watching anime. The art of social interaction has been lost for coming to 2 decades - and we as parents MUST be mindful and make every effort to communicate with our children on how their day went, who they met and if they were experiencing stress at school or during social outings. It is not easy communicating with our young generation, let alone our children but we must - it is our God given responsibility to guide them along the right path. We had our life mentors when we were young, I remember as a young teenager I looked up to my swimming captains and when I was swim captain, I mentored the younger swimmers to behave with decorum.
Likewise, as a young man in University, I had the camaderie of my school debate mates, in particular 2 of them Jaspal Singh and Philip Lim who guided us on deportment, speech presentation and also to carry oneself with a sense of purpose, as the occasion befits it.
A major incident happens like what happened yesterday really shakes us, in particular me, to the core. In a top ranked school, yesterday, a senior boy killed a junior boy with an axe. To say we are shocked and saddened is an understatement.
I am totally at a loss. Stunned beyond belief. Has our society become so materialistic that red flags were not spotted early by a) school counsellors b) parents of the victim or the perpetrator c) friends who perhaps just were only interested in test scores and not real friendship ?
This act has serious implications. I can only speculate about the motive. But the root cause, must surely have been about mental and physical domination ie. bullying. This is so prevalent in every society since young till we are working adults and it carries on in our later years.
Do we succumb to the Big Man with the loud mouth who also happens to be your boss, your senior, or someone older in school ? To take it quietly and bite your tongue ?
Handle each slight, perceived by yourself with a sense of logic, and not with physical violence. That should only be at the last resort, when your very life is threatened.
As adults, we would be able to think logically and sort issues between parties amicably. There are avenues for resolutions for disputes like mediation and the courts.
For the young, especially the teenagers, I have the following comments and questions :
1. Bullying has always been in society for millenia. It always has been and always will be There are avenues to nip bullying behavior in the bud, but alot of support care needs to be provided by the authorities to handle the situations as they fester in practically every aspect of our lives, particularly in schools.
2. Retaliation may or may not happen, and the long term affects of the bullied are still not widely studied, findings thoroughly examined and solutions or efforts to mitigate the behavioral changes of the affected in the long run totally absent.
3. Living in Singapore is a pressure cooker. That is a fact. So the fact that stressful environment coupled with the COVID - 19 lockdowns and lack of parental guidance MAY have set the chain of events leading to this dreadful act.
4. The gamification of life is now a norm. Life imitates the screen. Avatars in the small, mid or large screens assimilate into the life of the young so much so he wafts into another world when he is not at school. The ease of access to the weapons on these violent games MAY have been one of the triggers which led the perpetrator to choose an axe to commit this so violent a crime.
5. We should all stop, take several breaths and ask ourselves these vital question :
" What is the purpose of my life ?"
"Am I taking the right steps to achieve my goal or purpose ? "
if we get carried away with every slight, every small insult and find the need for revenge We are surely doomed. We must guide the young to find purpose in their lives, and separate real life from virtual life and its fantasies. If we can do that, we will have a better world tomorrow. If we can't, I shudder to think what kind of people and leaders who will govern our nations of tomorrow.
Jesus told us to "turn the other cheek". Truly wise words indeed.
