Mentally Strong People Do these 18 Things - the Next 6

 

In Chiangmai Old Town in 2006

1. Practice Realistic Optimism - Be True to Yourself.

 Unless you live on a mountain top or alone, and report to no one, you will come across many people in your life, whom you will interact with, many on a regular basis. Hence, you will have bosses, clients, vendors, people you buy and sell things to and from, people whom are related to you by blood, school, swimming club, work, social networks, and places of worship.

You will be faced with many challenges day in and day out, week in and week out. If you tackle these challenges head on, you will realise some are too big for you to take on yourself, and you need to take stock and realise either to 1. fight 2. take flight and 3. be frightened and stay rooted like deer caught in headlights of an oncoming car in a quiet country road.

Hence, while it is so important to have an optimist mindset, that mindset MUST be tempered in realism and not your personal delusions of grandeur. Do need spend needless money to buy a fancy car, watch or house to impress meaningless people about how 'good' or 'great' your life is.

No one bothers to appreciate your 'success'. Only you will be the final arbiter of your own 'success'. It doesn't matter if you live in a small flat, take public transport or live in a huge mansion and drive a Bentley.

What matters is that you have done good, been a good provider to your family and community and hurt no one.

Be realistic in setting and chasing after your goals. That way you will not be disappointed if and when (90% of us will face this) you miss these goals. Such is life. 

2. Tolerate Discomfort

This is a tough on9e, but mentally strong people can shut out all the pain, distractions, the negative and hurtful comments, the disuasions, the naysayers, the jealous bystanders, the multitude of people who would love to see you fail. That is discomfort on a daily basis.

Learn to Tolerate it, but Practice Optimistic Realism (see point 1 above)

When you do succeed, 100% of these so called naysayers will professed to have supported you. 

Feel free to drop them from your friends list :)

3. Modify Unhealthy Beliefs

Weed out all thoughts of failure. When faced with defeat, the strong still die fighting. They only give up when the chance to fight another day and come back stronger is much better than depleting your resources 100% today with no chance of returning.

4. Accept Challenges 

This is self explainatory. If you do not challenge yourself what are you living for ? 

                                                           Rialto Bridge 10th Dec 2023 

5. Practice Perseverence

Only those who persevere will win something in the end. My mates in armoured artillery are prime examples of mentally strong people who though they may not have been the most physically strong, we all were able to take mental anguish, pain and rampant bullying during those tough training days.

I am glad to say that all of us NCOs are doing pretty well now.

6. Set Healthy Boundaries 

This ties in to having a good mental discipline to stop punishing our bodies and minds. Insofar as eating excessively, smoking, exercise regularly and doing good we must remind ourselves, the price we pay for overextending ourselves in any of the above will only cause our downfall at the end.

Carpe Diem my readers. 

18 things Mentally Strong People Do ; Here are the first 6

These ideas are not mine, originally. These are taken from Mr. Steve Wohlenhaus of Weatherology Inc. (picture below) who is a motivational speaker and someone whom I share a great deal of ideals and values with. So here is the first 6, with my own life experiences thrown in. 

 1. Practice Gratitude 

This is very much like the mindset of the self assured and strong person you are or whom you want to be. If you have received help, do show thankfulness and gratitude to whoever (it can even be to God) has made you arrive at  your current situation.

I am grateful to many people, spiritual and on this earth. So I thank them in my quiet time and also in person, or do things to show my thankfulness.

2.  Learn from Mistakes

Never let ego get the better of you. The self (or Id) is a concept which some people call 'face'. Of course it is never nice to be humiliated. I've made many mistakes in my life. However, I believe I am luckier than most. I remind myself that at my age, I am blessed with so many things like my good health, my family and 2 good sons, a big roof over my head, transportation, enough food, a very safe and secure high standard of living and working environment and strong relationships with friends from many around the world, from school, life and social circles. 

I get to travel for work and relax many times a year,    

There are some people who are much better off and many many others who are worse off than where I am today,  So its useless to compare on material terms. Just aim to do better in things than what you did 1, 2 , 5 years before.  Things like :

1. analytical and logical thinking

2. compassion and empathy for your neighbour

3.  deciding on important issues correctly and fairly.

Coming back to the point of Mistakes, if you make them in private. 

a) accept them - even when they are pointed out to you from the most unexpected source.

b) realise when and why you made them

c) Focus on being a better person and pledge never to repeat them.

If your mistakes are exposed in public. That is 100 times more painful, but follow a) to c) and add d)

d) Ask God for peace in your heart. 

e) Sleep easy. In 5 years no one remembers it anyway,

f) Pray for a thicker skin. :)

3. Take Calculated Risks

Easier said than done. Get out of your comfort zone. Be used to being uncomfortable. That is the only way you grow and accomplish anything which you will one day look back and be proud of - your accomplishments.

They are not your accomplishments if you never put effort, focus,energy, blood, sweat, money and tears for.  

4. Focus on the things that can be controlled

There is so much bizarre and turbulent news of late with multiple wars in the Middle East, Ukraine and the threat of war hanging over North Asia, there is nothing much you can do ; the only thing you can control is your emotions and try to double down and prepare for a cold hard _____ number of years. Only the strongest minded will see through the hardest of times, with a little bit of luck. 

5. View failure as an opportunity for growth

Again easier said than done. Keep Calm, Move ahead with my life and business plans, save for the rainy days, invest in long term assets, keep healthy, strengthen relationships within family and close friends and stay focussed on doing the best I can. 

6. Accepting full responsibility of our own lives.

At this stage in my life. I can say that I accept my failings as they are and pledge to do better tomorrow. I do not blame anything or anyone for my lousy situation, and try my 110% to make tomorrow a better day than today.

I will move forward, try, aim high, fail, try again and again. 

That is way of being Mentally Strong. 

Karate Training - Cross Training necessary for Flexibility

 

This Sunday's class is no different from each Sunday class. We have about 20 to 25 regular trainees who come every week and it is a mixed bag from all age groups, genders, and some nationalities.

I am happy to be the current Ken Shin Kai club President and with the guidance of Sensei Chia Kwek Fah (8th Dan Hanshi), we hope ton take part in some National tournament in the near future. We have 6 potential 'players' mainly from the young age group who we hope will step up to represent out club this year and do us proud. I have been practising karate for 22 years and currently hold the rank of Black Belt Dan 3. The reason I chose karate is that a lot of the movements emphasise balance, flexibility and strength which complements my other group of muscles utilised when I run long distance, which is namely balance, strength and endurance. It is the perfect foil for CROSS TRAINING. 

While my body feels its age, the old saying that 'age is just a number' well I can refute that.  

When you reach a certain age, and everything starts to stiffen, ache, and it takes much longer to recover.It was never like that in my 20s, 30s, and 40s. I used to run 10 - 14K PER DAY in the mornings EACH DAY for 5 days per week and after each run, I would go home, wash up and prepare for work THAT SAME DAY. This ritual would be repeated day in day out for years.

Hence, the body recovery for me as an example in the 20s, 30s and 40s are much FASTER than what I am experiencing NOW. Age slows everything down and from recovery, reflexes, and muscle strength diminishes - if not kept in check by CONTINUING to maintain or UP THE FREQUENCY OF EXERCISE EACH WEEK.  

Just remember, the human body is a quite like a  mechanical machine, while cells replicate and are formed daily, the bone structure and muscles will wither over time, so parts replacement is necessary - if there are replacment parts. Intraocular lenses for eyes, teeth implants and titanium plates are but 3 miracles that medical technology has advanced over the last 5 - 6 decades resulting in many people living well into their 90s and possibly 100s years of age - IF they have taken good care of their bodies and minds. 

Tinto - A Revisit 13th April 2024

 

Tosta Ramona with Anchovies and Burata Cheese 

Yesterday 13th April, we celebrated my wife's birthday at Tinto in Dempsey Road. We had eaten there once last year in June 2023 when my other son, Andrew was back in Singapore for a holiday.

When we arrived, the main dining hall was reserved for a private function (someone's going away party) and we were ushered into the back dining room promptly. We ordered exactly the same dishes save the suckling pig and the Gazpacho (cold soup) as there were only 3 of us yesterday compared to 9 months ago.

Sadly, the dishes turned out rather bland compared to the first dining experience and although the standard is still very good, there was a suspicion that the kitchen had pre made these dishes in advance and kept them warm - as there was a big function in the main dining hall and hence the kitchen would be overworked.

This is only our hunch or guess.

Anyway, here are the 3 better dishes which I would give on the average 4.5 stars out of 5.

Tosta Ramona with Anchovies and Burata Cheese - Tapas

The toast is very crunchy and the anchovies are fresh. The cheese is just right and there is a hint of tomato paste below the anchovies.

Much recommended.

Gambas Al Ajillio ; 

Pan fried prawns, garlic and chilli chips with tomato puree

Gambas Al Ajillio - Tapas

My wife's favourite. The prawns are fresh and the garlic oil is oh so tasty. The fried garlic chips are just right. 

Highly Recommended 

Chicken and Pork Paella 

Chicken and Pork Paella - Main Course

The paella was tasty and there were ample portions of chicken and pork, mixed with cheese, zucchini, baby brocolli and rosemary herbs. 

Highly recommended. 

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Can we hit 300,000 Views by July ?

 

My 2 Duck Friends would be happy if we achieved 300,000 views as they would be Famous !

Not as famous as the Donald Duck but definately getting there !  

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