Golf and Squash ; 2 Sports As different as Night and Day

Recently, Johnson, a colleague asked me to play a game of squash with him and this is the theme of this blog. Golf, the gentleman's sport where there are 101 rules about everything from the shoes to the dressing to the positioning of the body,to the tee-off, to etiquette on the fairways and greens etc. It embodies the values of honesty,manners of courtesy and behavior and players are fined or penalised for slight misdemeanors such as cursing,or even walking across one's 'line' at the tee.

My opinion of it is that it is a social sport, where the competition is mainly between the player and the golf course .How he pits his game against his handicap score is the fun part. Say I am a 24 handicapper (from previous games on the greens, and I am certified by a professional to be competent), during the game with my friends, I shoot a 86 for a par 72 hole, that is actually 14 above par, but after I deduct my handicap, I am actually playing 10 strokes better than my 24 handicap. So if I play a few more similar excellent games and record these score cards with my home club, my handicap will be knocked down to around 16.This is how it works for the handicap scoring system

The trick with golf is one has to round up a gang of similar minded khakis (mates) and arrange a 'flight' of normally 4 people and book with the golf club one
is attached to. Golf club rules dictate that players must abide by the following before playing a round of 18 holes :

1. Form a group (flight) of 3 or 4 players at a prearranged approved time
2. Show proof of competency (handicap card or Playing Competency card)
3. Be appropriately attired in golf gear and spiked shoes

So the fun starts when all 4 of different playing abilities go on the greens and the 'true' characters of people are revealed. Cheaters (those who put false scores) will be found out very fast and can lose their handicaps and those who are impatient also learn patience - by waiting for their flight mates to a) find their lost balls or b) their flight mates may be hitting the balls in all directions except that of the green so its quite comical to see a bunch of beginners in all kinds of rough and waiting for each other to hit onto the green. Trust me, I have been there and done my fair share of 'gardening' or digging out little tufts of the fairways when my stroke is too deep into the ground. The opposite is the 'airstroke' whereby a "whoosh" sound is made when one totally misses the ball. There is also
many versions of the 'slice' where in the most embarrasing case,one hits the tee off with a full blown swing and expecting to see it soar 150 meters it trickes out off the teetop and rolls say 6 inches.

There is a lot of bantering and joking whenever I play with my golf friends,because of mishits, poor hits and excellent or fluke shots. By the time one takes to finish a round of 18 holes (around 4 hours), one is usually burnt brown by the sun, dehydrated and ready for the 19th hole - which is the watering hole or terrace where the depleted energies are regenerated by copious amounts of beer, isotonic drinks and the local food. Normally we have some betting going on so the 'loser' or the 2 'losers' pay for the dinner / lunch.

Squash, on the other hand is a more gladiator like where 2 palyers enter and 1will emerge victorious. It is seldom a social sport where people hit for fun aganinst the wall. Squash players (or squashers) learn a variety of strokes from basic drive strokes to cross court volleys, from boasts to back of wall lob shots.

Invented in France in the early 1500s, the game has evolved over the centuries to incorporate even doubles play (4 people, 2 per team) play.However, for most players, it is 2 per game. Again, there are basic rules to abide befors stepping into the court :

1. Non-marking shoes must be worn before entering the court
2. Players must be attired in all-white (some clubs)
3. Use of yellow or double yellow rubber squash balls are preferred

Again through playing with my partners over the last 20 years (its 10 years since I picked up my racket to play a decent game), it is always about winning the point and fighting for every point with no quarter asked or given.

Now that I am in my mid to late 40s, and with the flesh not so willing, perhaps I may have to develop a 'social squash' mindset where hitting the ball is already an achievement. Or then again maybe not ?