You need Grit, Pick Up after Massive Failure and Get On with Wiser Eyes.
This endearing picture above shows a little boy standing on the beach, with his hands clenched on a fistful of sand and staring determinedly at the photo-taker. He has a look of determination on his face, which seems to say "come what may, I will overcome".
Well, it is only partly true, in my book. Having been running a business as well as raising a family, for more than 20 years, we should all look at ourselves and ask point blank,
Is my life a success ?
I recall playing the board game called "Careers" or "The Game of Life" whereby the playing board represents Life and one goes out to achieve a total of 60 units of either
a) Fame ( become a celebrity)
b) Money (be a tycoon)
c) Love (Hard to define this person, but I guess someone who is in Love).
If only life were that simple.
Money,
For almost everyone on this planet, with the exception for a few lucky souls like Royal families, and scions of billionaires, is very important to everybody. There are many people who have worked and slogged and made a pile and find that at the end of life, a certain emptiness. A lack of creating a footprint for others to follow. So while Money is important, the endless pursuit of wealth will leave one devoid of empathy, or concern for one's fellow man. I find these never ending pursuits of the so called 5 Cs quite disturbing in our rich and plentiful Singapore. For those who are not familiar, the 5 "C"s young people strive to achieve without a thought for anything else :
a) Condo
b) Car
c) Country Club
d) Career
e) Cash
All these have to do with material things. Young and not so young people strive to drive the latest sports car or status car offerings, while the women carry the latest designer handbags and sport the 3 karat diamond rings. They may offer satisfaction, but only for a short while, before the yearning for something bigger or better or flashier. It is like hunger pangs which once fulfilled satisfies for a while before the yearning to make more comes along.
So making money for the sake of money is not Success.
Fame
Some people want to be seen with the stars and crave attention. See all the famous Hollywood, Bollywood, JPop, KPop and HK stars. They make alot of money, have all the attention BUT have no private life. They have major crises, take drugs, gamble, have affairs and are afflicted with all or even worse problems than us 'nobodies'.
As recently as last year 2 KPop idols, Sulli and Goo Hara committed suicide due to loneliness and depression as a result of leading the so-called 'perfect princess' lives which turned out to be lies. So sad.
So, Fame as an Ends is also not Success.
Love
Ah, Love is always the one pure emotion. Yes, one can have alot of Love, but can we get by with giving Love to our loved ones and live on fresh air, love and music ? Dream on Love is an emotion, so we all have the capacity to give and receive Love.
So Love by itself is not Success. Having and Giving Love probably is one facet to leading a successful life though.
So what does one do to achieve Success ?? First lets try to define Success.
In my humble opinion, first look critically at your own life. Identify what you want to change for yourself. It may be trying to improve your standard of living, your car or apartment, or even taking more holidays. Once you have identified and managed to achieve them, STOP. Look around you, there are many many more millions of people worse off than you. Why go on and on the merry-go-round of endless upgrading form HDB flat, to Condominium to House, to MASSIVE DEBT ?
GAINING OF MATERIAL THINGS IN LIFE IS NOT SUCCESS, ITS MEANINGLESS !!
SUCCESS IN LIFE IS TAKING THE PURPOSEFUL JOURNEY.
IT HAS NO END POINT.
Living a purposeful life helping one's family, community, friends or religion without a thought for one's situation is a Success story in itself. But before one can start doing that, he must be financially secure and have relevant income streams so that Money and Family stability are not compromised. Here is where, everyone deviates or does not agree upon. What is Financial Stability ?? $10,000 ? $100,000 ? $ 1 Million ? $ 10 Million ?
What's the Magic Number ??
That magic number depends on one's personal sense of comfort. A hypothetical example, take Mr. A : " I am 45, I have a flat, my kids have finished school and I take public transport to work. Wife is a good cook and we dine out at restaurants once a month. I have saved $ 100,000 for my next 5 years and can start to do some community work or help out in my Church outreach. Its time I gave back after having taken from others all these years. "
Very noble. I salute these people. These are the true Success stories in this dog-eat-dog world.
So, in the end, the church, temple and mosque helpers will say, "Doesn't matter. God will provide" However, in many circumstances, but there are many hard luck stories who have fallen by the wayside in the pursuit of the wrong goals and have relentlessly used or adopted these mannerisms in their daily life. I list them down, these are the 7 Deadly Sins.
1. Lust
2. Greed
3. Sloth (Laziness)
4. Anger
5. Gluttony
6. Hatred
7. Envy
I would define Success as this :
Living one's own sphere of life, as being able to do what he / she wants, growing in character, and ultimately in helping others without much thought of one's well being.
To get to that point, one needs to take stock of one's own life and be SATISFIED with whatever he already has, and not be green with envy that the neighbour has gotten a new and bigger car than him, or is going for holidays every 3 months while he has to slog just to pay the bills.
To achieve success, one has to have these traits or acquire these attitudes :
a) Dogged Determination to reach the goal 40%
b) Resilience in bad times 30%
c) Vision to dream where he wants to be 30%
Seize the Day my friends.
Life is there for Living. Don't Moan or worse Bad Mouth others.
Don't be a whiner and whinger and drop out at the first sign of difficulty.
Be a Winner and Doer.
Possess Grit, Resilience and Positive Mental attitude come what may.
Set your goals, however small, achieve them and then help the less able.
That is Success.
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