This Perfect Day - 7th Sept 2010

My mother Anna, my niece Hannah and my Dad Geoffrey

My father has been warded for about 12 days now, and since he has been in the hospital, he has been calling for my mother. She herself had been in hospital for 3 over weeks following surgery and rehabilitation and only today, my brother and I managed to get her to the hospital to see my father. My Mum needs help walking, so we wheeled her in my car this morning, and together with my brother John, the domestic help Joanna, and John's daughter Hannah we went to see my father.

Geoffrey had been waiting for Mum for over 3 weeks and when she came home, he fell ill again with an eye infection. So my brother decided to immediately ward him and put him on a course of strong antibiotics. Everytime any family members came by, he would either ignore them, or was sleeping so we decided to cajole my Mum to go and visit him. Today, the weather was bright yet cool because of the night's rain. Temperatures were a pleasant 29 deg C in the morning.

When my Mum went there, we brought her up to see him and he managed to open his eyes to see "Ling', his term of endearment for my mother. After a few seconds, he recogised her and a wide smile broke out on his face. I did not see him smile for over a month now, so was very pleased.

Next, Hannah, his favourite grandchild, called out to him in her piercing voice "Grandpa" and again he broke out into another wide smile. Everybody in the room, my Mum, John, Hannah, me and Joanna were laughing and so happy to see my father in so happy a mood. He was talking to Joanna and when she asked him if he was in pain, he said "No". He is still in a very frail state so we are all praying for his recovery and health.

It was indeed a wonderfully perfect day for me.

5 essential things

3 of the 5

On my bed lie 3 of the 5 essential items which are a must for me to operate in this world, they are

1. a notebook
2. my passport
3. my smart phone for connectivity to the world with all contacts and schedules

4. my wits (logic,empathy, experience, memory,vocabulary,plans)
5. my health

Sounds simple, but very unique to each individual. What are yours ?

A funny true story involving Papa and my son

Grandpa Geoffrey and grandson Noel

This was a funny story related to me by my father, some 14 years ago. We were staying at the condominium called Le Marque at Keng Chin Road, where our first son Noel in the picture had his first walking steps,swimming and other fun stuff made possible by his doting grandparents. My father is very fond of Noel, and he used to take my son out for walks in his pram around the condominium and the surrounding estate. This was in 1996, so imagine there were alot less cars on the road, and the first housing bubble was only just beginning. Now, my mother is Chinese and so I am half Indian. My son is thus 3/4 Chinese and 1/4 Indian - technically speaking.


Noel when he was 5 - 6 months old

One day, my mother was busy with an errand, so my father took Noel out of the condominium for a walk, and Noel was about 1 and a half years old. They were walking along the 5 foot way towards the neighbouring condominium where the kind guard allowed them to play in the large open garden. On the way there, my Dad was stopped by a Chinese lady who asked him some strange questions, like "where are you taking this child". After some puzzlement, my Dad replied that Noel was in fact his grandchild, did the lady make some connection. You see, my father is dark skinned, and my son is well, very fair. (See pictures above).

So he told me later that evening that someone actually thought that he was 'kidnapping' my son ! We had a good laugh afterwards. True Story.

Dad's Golden Days

Geoffrey Abisheganaden with President S.R. Nathan

My father held many important positions in community in the past, and this pictorial spread is to highlight some of the past famous and powerful people he has associated in his 40 - 50 years of community and social work. During the 1960s he was a prominent lawyer assisting the then 1st Chief Minister David Marshall as his assistant, and later on starting out his own law firm Abisheganaden and Company at the old Boat Quay. I remember the days in the 60s when his office was on the 2nd floor of an shophouse converted from a godown and the staircases were dusty and creaky. In those days,we lived in a big bungalow at 6 Adis Road and the entire ground floor of the house was used to store the old case files.

I remember the old days where practically every Sunday we would head over to the Marshall family house in Changi and enjoy a glorious lunch spread made my Mrs. Marshall and we spend many hours of fun playing hide and seek, having iced lemon tea and observing Mr. Marshall's lovely 'zoo' consisting of pelondok (or mousedeer), a peacock, some dogs, cats and a cockatoo. The 4 Marshall children were childhood friends of ours but now are based mainly in Europe. Their house had a winding sloping road down to the sea where Mr. Marshall would take dips at night. My family thoroughly enjoyed those weekends.


Campus Crusade for Christ Token

His church work took him to the Bible House, as well as the Campus Crusade for Christ. Addtionally, he was involved in the Christian Businessmen's chapter. He was also the Chairman for the board of Governors of St Andrew's Junior College as well as on the board for St Andrew's School. A down to earth and unassuming person, he has met with all of the last 4 Presidents of Singapore in his various capacities.

I recall once such event which was the St. Andrew's School dinner, where my father sat on the Main Table next to Presiddent Sheares. Later, he called for someone to bring us to meet the President and I remember him saying, "Now Mark, this is probably more rare than meeting Santa Claus, you are meeting President Sheares".


St. Andrew's Junior College Sports Day Momento as Guest of Honour

He also donated funds for the start of a basketball tournament at the SAJC (my college I might add) and there is a Geoffrey Abisheganaden Cup somewhere in the silverware of SAJC.His made donations to charities and worthy causes and I am sure that the giving spirit would have passed on to the next generation.

Geoffrey Abisheganaden - Christmas 2009

Anna and Geoffrey, May (my wife) and Joanna (domestic help)

Last Christmas, we went for our annual Christmas dinner, made special every year because my son Noel is born on Christmas day itself, a blessing which provided joy especially to my father and our family. Dinner was short and sharp, as Papa normally does not want to 'hang around' making small talk ; he is hard of hearing. The mind is still sharp until this week, where he is given to calling for Joanna, our domestic help.

At Li Bai, we normally have our usual Peking Duck (Beijng Ya), which is the skin of the duck, prawns with wasabi and fish roe, duck fried with special sauce, cod fish with special sweet and sour sauce and longevity noodles. A feast which is enjoyed by the family during special occasions like birthdays and our wedding anniversaries.


Dinner at Imperial Treasures 2006, when he was walking with some aid, picture with May

My father had a fall in 2003 and although he made a very good recovery since then, his walking and mainly his legs were weakening by the year. His coordination slowed but he had regular massages and physiotherapy. His mind was sharp as ever, and he read books, 1 book every 2 to 3 days and kept himself engaged by watching the BBC news channel every day without fail to keep up with current affairs. His many appointments in the civil society and also from St Andrew's school and St Andrew's cathedral highlight how much has has contributed to the greater good of our society.


Geoffrey at 90, still full of grace and vigour - taken at Li Bai Restaurant - his favourite at Christmas time 2009

Papa, I may never be able to emulate you but your honest values and wonderful generosity will live in your children and grandchildren for a long time on.

Dedicated to my father, Geoffrey Abisheganaden

My father Geoffrey Abisheganaden's 88th birthday in 2007

Life, as I know it, is unpredictable, fragile, at times producing moments of sadness,anxiety,anger,grief,joy,happiness,gloriousness and satisfaction. As I manage as best as I can with my father's frail health, I am reminded of the good works he has done over the last 40 years. He was sitting on the Board of Governors of Saint Andrew's School, Saint Andrews Junior College, President of the National University Society (Alumnus Club) for 3 years, Management Committe Board of Singapore Swimming Club as well as a dedicated member of the St Andrew's Cathedral Church Choir where he sang and worshipped faithfully for all his adult life.

He was talented too, blessed with a rich baritone voice and he made many singing appearences in public at the Singapore Conference Hall, the Victoria Theatre and sang at practically all the family gatherings where he would perform a solo. During my wedding, he sang forcefully and beautifully at both the church service and the wedding dinner. His forte would be singing the Italian operas and he would spend endless hours practising his craft and gift to the awe and delight of his family members and us of course. A dedicated Christian, he game much money and his time to the Church and the Bible House, among others and was ready to help fight cases of the poor people 'pro bono' (without fees).

Running his own successful law firm called Abisheganaden and Company we saw him mainly in the evenings and he would always spend time with my brother and I bringing us to the park and I remember the unforgettable incident when I fell down a series of steps in 1968 (6 years old), I had a gash on my forehead and my father (or Papa as we call him) rushed down upon hearing my screams, called out to his house tenant, Ken Omuri and sped all the way to the Singapore General Hospital. His best friend was the famous surgeon, Professor Yahya Cohen. Upon arriving at the SGH Accident and Emergency Department, he shouted to the nurse that he wanted to see Yahya Cohen.The nurse told him sarcastically that even the Prime Minister of Singapore needed an appointment to see Yahya Cohen. My father, created a big scene by shouting and insisting for Yahya Cohen and told her to mention his name. Prof Cohen came running straight away, gave me an assessment ( I was sobbing but lucid I recall) and then proceeding to get the nurses to wheel me into the operating thearter. After cleaning the wound, they applied local anaesthesia and I witnessed first hand how the famous surgeon stitched me up. I was actually concious and able to observe the entire head stitching operation ! What an experience, to witness an operation and from the top surgeon in all of Sinagpore !

Prof. Cohen did not charge his fees, and after settling the hospital charges, I was driven home to attend a 'welcome back' party by all my neighbours. There were around 20 - 30 people, mainly neighbours and my stitch was covered by a brown patch of putty like substance resembling mud. My father stood back quietly allowing me to bask in the 'limelight'.


Chinese New Year eve Reunion Dinner at my house in 2005, my Dad was 85 and still very engaged in things around him

I owe my father many things, such as a privileged childhood,thanks to his success as a lawyer. Thanks of course to my mother too for managing the household finances well for us to enjoy travelling and visiting foreign countries at an early age of 10. The incident above stands out as one of the pivotal or most memorable moments which my Papa 'saved my skin'.

Thank you Papa. May God Bless you richly.

The Beautiful Japanese Palm in my Rooftop Garden

This beautiful Japanese Palm is located at the timber deck of my house rooftop. The architect decided to place it there after much deliberation to add some 'form' to the otherwise boring timber deck of the rooftop. I took this picture to test my handphone camera's focussing capability in bright sunlight.

On further thought, I have come to the conclusion that trees, are like people, in certain aspects. Looking at the Palm, its only use or function is to look good in someone's garden or rooftop. Does it serve any purpose such as providing food for say other animals like birds, squirrels etc.. provide shade, or reflecting heat and UV rays back to the atmosphere or do birds nest in their leafy foliage ? No. Its only 'use' is a decorative one. To adorn a person's garden.

Similarly there are people whose only purpose in life are to party, have a good time, and look good. No contribution except to add numbers to the already swelling crowd of so called 'beautiful people' list. So while personal grooming is important, the most important thing in life is to CONTRIBUTE meaningfully back to society. Do not be a beautiful Japanese Palm all your life. 'Nuff said.