Raison Detre - Finding your Purpose

Yesterday I had a delightful evening discussing all manner of things with some good friends of mine from karate school, where I practice and sometimes teach.

The topic invariably moves after several rounds of beers and nice food in Chinatown to the meaning of life. We had Johnson explaining the Buddhist philosophies and Felipe on the Hindu teachings. I sat by silently, absorbing all that was going on with great interest. It dawned upon me that all religions have good values inherent in them. I  then recalled  the 5 tenets from this wonderful game changing book called Ikiigai by Ken Moji which in rough translation means the "reason for my existence" or Raison Detre  for the French speakers.  

Essentially Ken Moji's point is this : we are all searching for our Raison Detre, by learning and more importantly practicising these 5 values or Pathways, you will find your Ikiigai or Purpose in Life. Every person's Purpose will be different, and some may change during their life due to circumstances and unforseen events but such is the way life is :  

The 5 tenets I have learned and am trying to implement in my daily life are :

1. Start Small 
In any aspect or stage in your life. Take on bite sized challenges which you can do bit by bit by bit. As a personal anecdote, to date I have managed to run some full 10 marathons. When I decided to start, I could barely run 2.4 km (that was when I was 38 years old). So I gave myself a challenge and slowly I built up my stamina, from 2.4 to 3km, 4 km, 5 km and woke up early (5 am on most weekdays) and bit by bit, I improved my distance and stamina.

After 1 year of concentrated training, I could cover 21 km without much extra effort. (I was 39 years old then, still considered in my 'prime' of fitness. Then, I continued with the schedule as laid out by Runners World and ran 10km to 14 km every day for 5 days with 1 day rest. Saturdays were reserved for my long runs (16 to 20 kms), and I signed up for my first full marathon which was in Penang Malaysia 2003. 

So from the start when I gave up golf in 2000, till mid 2003, it was a full 2.5 years till I reached the fitness and confidence to run a full Marathon. I still have the certificate and medal as a  momento.  From then on I had the stamina base and body conditioning and was able to continue running a marathon each year till the year 2015 when I decided to take a break.

Start Small

2. Release Yourself 
Put your ego down in a box, do something which you enjoy, much as many people claim they enjoy work, the reality is that in the corporate world, the efforts are rewarded with money or salary and performance bonus and there are many boardroom and office politics. I interpret it as if you want to do something, make that something, is an activity which you personally love and can spend immeasurable time on it. I call it a body of work. Some example can be painting, writing (in my case), or even simple hobbies like gardening. 

Volunteering in social and religious organizations such as in  your church, temple or mosque is another excellent way of releasing yourself.

Release Yourself. 

3. Harmony and Sustainability  
Our mother Earth is hurting bad. Climate change caused by excessive greenhouse gases and the massive deforestation of the tropical rainforests in S.America, South East Asia is leading to a hotter and hotter Earth surface temperatures. We must find a way to create and embody harmony and sustainability for ourselves, such as our carbon footprint (I am guilty of that), recycling more (again I am guilty) and using less plastic (guilty as charged).

Every person must do his or her part to sustain our mother Earth. Achieving harnony is also another goal - with our family, relatives, friends neighbours and even strangers. 

The Japanese have mastered the art of graciousness in all situations. I think it is important to learn that trait.

  Go West - the Queen of Spain told Italian Christopher Columbus in late 15th century.

Harmony and Sustainability. 

4. Find Joy in doing small things. 
Another personal anecdote of mine. I sleep on a tatami bed. Its cooling and very functional, providing very good back support. Its high density foam is excellent for reinforcing the back. Every morning, I ensure I fold the duvet or bedspread well and place it folded in one corner. The tatami bed is nicely folded and pushed under the main bed. Neat.

I find joy in doing this simple act every day. It takes 5 to 10 minutes but I do enjoy making the bed !

Even when I am travelling, I actually tidy back the hotel bed, place the towels and litter in their proper places and containers. 

So, during the event of each and every day, any rotten or unfortunate, upsetting things will and often come my way, at the end of each day, no matter what had happened, I go home and see my made by myself tatami bed and duvet and I take comfort that at least 1 thing went right for me that day.  

Find Joy in Doing Small Things.

5, Be in the Here and Now.
This is Mindfulness 101. When we are eating, focus on the food, chewing, tasting, swallowing and digesting. Many people let their thoughts drift elsewhere most often looking at that handphone slash entertainment system. Many people become mindless zombies during their mealtimes, their commute to and from work or wherever they are going and at the end of the day, they just go home and crash out. One day slips to one week and the time just slips by. There will come a time when this feeling - ennui or a state of listlessness will set in, and then depression will follow.  

Mindfulness. Be Here and Now. Tomorrow Can Wait. Yesterday is Gone.

Have I found my Raison Detre ? Yes. Its personal and its a work in progress. Meanwhile I have found my little spot in the Universe and I am at peace.

Carpe Diem.    


  

Unforgettable Egypt Dec 2009

The ubiquitous camel by the Pyramids of Giza

My family made a year end trip, a 13 day trip to Egypt in 2009. To me, this was a game changer as to how I understood the way civilization was and after that trip, I came to realise that Mankind in is present form has been around for hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of years. 

The Pyramids of Giza were built sometime from 3000 BC to 1000 BC when Egypt was at the height of its political, military and economic power. To see the remnants of the death monuments as well as the many 'ships' which would transport the Pharoahs, their wives and their favourite eunuchs to the afterlife was something of a gamechanger for me. 

These early people had indepth knowlegdge in engineering technology, science, mathematics and astology some 5000 years ago ! Their artefacts and their monuments are just another testament to the rise and fall of the powerful nations past and present. 

Beside the Relief of Ramses II at Luxor Temple, 2009 

In the following posts I will show some of our pictures taken when we were in the cruise ship for 4 days starting from Luxor to Aswan, passing Kom Ombo. No other country to date can take away my fascination about the country of Egypt which I have visited only but once.   

Sapiens the Lecture - Prof Yuval Noah Harari

Why The Elderly are Venerated and Respected

It finally dawned upon me. I have met brilliant scientists, socio-economic specialists, gerontologist lecturers and people who have asked the brightest brains from Harvard to conduct a 70 year (yes 70 year) study of thousands of individuals and try to get a pattern as to why some people lived longer than others. The results were startling. I will try to put it down to a few key pointers.

1. People who lived happier, lived longer.

2. People who achieved happiness in old age actually generally were not top earners or   most powerful or most successful in their careers.

3. People who were generally happier had the best quality relationships with their spouses, their siblings,relatives and had a close circle of friends.

4. An acquaintence of mine from the School of Engineering at the National University of Singapore also spent some time in India trying to find out why some people lived till past their 100th birthday. He concluded after seeing a 104 year old headmaster of an orphanage who when he entered the orphanage had all the kiddies running up to him and hugging him giving him love and warmth 
  
5. People need a purpose for the greater good of their circle of influence. To be of use all the way to their dying day. 

In many Eastern societies the elderly are venerated and almost treated like Holy people.I always wondered why. Today I realise the reason why is because it is the opposite. Elderly people have their complete heuristic life experiences and wisdom well beyond comprehension of the younger people and they want to tell their stories and experiences in the hope that the young may learn and gain from their experiences.
  
They may not be mobile, or sometimes even confined to a wheelchair.

Celebrating my Uncle Vaithinathan's 100th birthday in 2015. 

He was first a schooltescher, then school principal, at 55 he became a barrister

at 75 he took to learning new languages and became an accomplised 

translator. He spoke and wrote 5 languages including Russian. 

Certainly a model for me. 

But they want to give their all. For in giving, they find a definite sense of purpose to stay on. Just a little while longer.  To help that one more person. If there is hesitation, we the younger ones should coax and cajole it out of them. To regale in their finest hours.

Love and Respect our Elderly. Understand that their physical and sometimes emotional 
attributes have faded and they may appear cranky, need to use the loo often 
(incontinence) and possibly even lose their trend of thought.

The Ravages of Time on a person's body can be merciless. However, they will want to share their  innermost feelings and experiences in the hope that they can still be of relevance to the people around them. Let them have their golden hours. For they will never ever walk this way again.  Soon, one day we will become the elderly and face the same circumstances as our fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts and all those who had gone before us did.

Carpe Diem. 

The image to last a lifetime

Circa 1987 just after my Graduation 

This is one picture which is priceless to me. My family photo taken at my graduation somwhere around September 1987. The photographer was the then famous Joe Wong (My Mum's friend) who was based in Tiong Bahru. 

I had just graduated in June that year, with a Bachelor of Engineering Degree from the National University of Singaopore. My brother John was probably in his 2nd year of Med school. My father Geoffrey was dressed in his legal robes when he would attend court and my Mum Anna wore her favourite green dress. My guess she would be 57 that year and my father would have been 68 years of age.

I had that rather cheeky smirk of a young upstart who thought he knew it all. The trouble with time is that it flies in a blink of an eye and since that day when I was the smirky young engineering graduate till now, a young old man all of 57, the days and years have gone by. We have raised 2 fine young men, who are still in University, both my parents have passed on and I am still trying to make it as a manageable business person or entrepreneur.  

This photo is 32 years old which makes both John and myself ancient !!!  

Seize the Day. 

Illogical things parents say to their kids

                          With my father, Geoffrey at the Parthenon, Greece in June 1974

As a parent myself, I have always pondered and wondered why when I was young, my Mum Anna or my Por Por would spoon lots of food on our plates and then say, 'finish it up Mark, remember there are many starving children in Africa... (or China) ". That was in the late '60s and early '70s when China was poor. . 

As a young dumb kid, of course I took and ate my fill, and became a plump pre-teen. That was before I started the swimming program.

I don't deny the fact that 1. there are many people today, young children in war torn societies and even in developed USA who are denied 3 proper meals a day. It is a sad development of laissez fair capitalism that many people have ended up at the bottom of the economic rung and have to stay at shelters or even on the streets when once their future looked rosy and bright. 

2. Things have improved for Singapore economically since the late '60s so much so that we are the 3rd "richest" in Gross development Product worldwide.  

However when I think back about what my Mum said, till today, I still cannot understand the logic that if I finished all the food on my plate, then.... what ? 

Mum and Papa circa 1973 outside Tropicana at Scotts Road

The poor starving children will (unfortunately) still be denied the meals.


My guess is that they were playing on my conscience that wasting food is bad. Of course it is. Any form of wastage is bad. We are now all into recycling and reusing things.   

My parents should in actual fact have given me smaller portions, I would still grow up to an adult, albeit a less plump one. if they were so concerned about the starving children, they should have donated some of the money they earned to the many NGOs and charities who actively DO help the needy children here and overseas, instead of making us eat excessively and growing up to be plump unhealthy teenagers. 

Just another random useless musing. 

To do a task well, go right to the core of the action and understand each step fully.

I have been folding my duvet, or comforter every morning for about 4 months now. This is due to the fact that I sleep on a tatami mat and the duvet and the tatami mat need to be folded every morning after I get out of bed and before I head to work. 

This task has evolved every since I read somewhere that by starting the day with doing small tasks with pride, I accomplish something and that small something is my 'reward' for that day even though the events of that day may be very unfulfilling or comprised of firefighting meetings, and doing things in the name of project completion, paperwork (form submissions and similar stuff like that).

                                                         Niccolo Machiavelli
Today I had difficulty folding the duvet into a nice form - it was lumpy and the duvet did not fold symmetrically. I realised that all along, I had not gotten into the covers of the duvet, and moved the inner down material such that every part inside the duvet is in proportion and equally spread out INSIDE the duvet. 

So I had to take the extra time to get inside, open the duvet through unbuttoning the sides and physically moving the down material inside. Bottom line of this trivial story is this ; 

If you want to do something really well, do not just "go through the motions", get down and dirty and open up and find out every and each thing, fully understand the workings, advantages and disadvantages of the placement of the inner down material, once settled, seal it up and the issue is once and for all, settled.

Then and only then I am able to resolve the problem of lumpiness and then fold the duvet into the nice shape that is is now, sitting in one corner of my bedroom.

Trivia, but message is this ; focus and get into the core of the task, understand each step of your task well, then you can say you have mastered the task.



  

European Nations League Cup 2019 Champions Portugal

Rui Patricio, Reuben Neves,Juao Moutinho, Diogo Jota 

The fanstastic 4 from Wolves team 2018 - 19 who made the final 23 for the Nations League Cup Champions, all deservedly played key roles in ensuring that Portugal emerged champions of this inaugarul Cup.

Let's hope that these 4 form the nexus of the team which manages to break into the top 4 of the British Premier League in 2019 - 20.

I can only hope with great anticipation !!!! 

Jinan China April 2019

Standing in front of the pine trees in an open field 

Last month, in April I visited the industrial city of Jinan, in Shandong Province. I was pleasantly surprised to find it very modern, with many shops and night cafes dotting the main city square. 

The city is right in between the metropolises of Beijing in the north and Shanghai in the south. So the people classify themselves as "Dong Bei" or North Eastern people. Some 300 km to the east, and you will find yourself at Qingdao Island - famous for its Tsingdao beer.


Jinan's seafood is really inexpensive and very fresh. This basket of shellfish, cockles and other stuff costs only RMB 75 or S$ 15 (US$ 11) steamed fresh.

A local legend or urban myth has it that some German and British people went to China to trade in the early 20th century and discovered that the country had no beer at that time, so they decided to set up the first brewery in China in Qingdao using the crystal clear water from the nearby famous mountain and called their beer, what else, Tsingdao Beer.

True or not ? 

Kamoshita Izakaya 3rd Visit

Hong Ji Chicken Rice Chinatown Keong Saik Street

Situated next to the Tong Chian Frog Porridge stall at the corner coffeer shop at Keong Saik street is this chicken rice stall. It serves pretty good chicken rice, for $3.50 and for $1.00 more, you can get additional roast pork.

Last Saturday I ordered the roast chicken and pork with rice and was pleasantly surprised that the rice was individually grained, the chicken was flavourful and the soup accompaniment was tasty. The standard black sauce and chilli paste were up to expectations.

The roast pork had a crunchy skin, which is very difficult to find, the centre fat portion (I normally separate it out before eating), then comes the lean meat. The roast pork was well roasted and tasty too. 

All in all, I would rate this more favourably than to the Tiong Bahru stall in terms of quality, the quaintness of eating in the local coffee shop and the lack of any queue forming on a Saturday morning. You will definitely find that there is a queue at the Tiong Bahru stall at any time of day when they are open, all because of the Bib Gourmand by Michelin which in my humble opinion, highly overrated. 

So do try this chicken rice stall at the corner coffee shop at Keong Saik Street, just at the turning junction with North South Bridge Road (diagonally opposite People's Park Center) and just opposite the road from C.K Department Store.

You will be pleasantly surprised. 

Great Song by the late David Bowie. You will long be remembered !

Tiong Bahru Hainanese Boneless Chicken Rice

Coming up the escalator turn to your right, the stall is there 

White Chicken, with some cucumber and some pickle 

This chicken rice made it to the Micheline Bib Gourmand list so I thought I'd give it a try one of the lunches when I was dining alone.

There was a short queue of about 5 people, so after 5 minutes I got to try the chicken rice. To be honest as a Singaporean, this chicken rice was rather average. The rice did not have the chicken stock smell, although the rice grains were individually apart, it tasted rather dry.

The chicken was tasty, though for $3.50, I guess it would rate as a 6 upon 10.

Would I bother to make the effort to go there and eat its chicken rice ? No.

There are literally hundreds of stalls dotted all over Singapore, not to mention restaurants and Member Clubs, serving Hainanese Chicken Rice

The offering of this dish is so competitive, that even a Bib Gourmand (Tiong Bahru stall) would in my book not rate at the top 10 of the Chicken Rice places to dine

  

Visit to Siheung City Korea 26 - 29 th Nov 2018

With our customers from Singapore and our host, Paul Lee of ETSP Korea

Last year's visit to S Korea was the first in almost 7 years, the last being in 2012 if I recall correctly. This time around, we came with 2 customers from Singapore for a technical buy-off at the factory site and were taken out by our hosts for a sumptuous dinner comprising of Korean barbecue.

Korea is a land mass which is connected to China. My impressions of Korean people are that they are warm, honest and brutally frank people. I like their sense of camaderie and once you win their trust they are with you all the way. Hence Paul and myself we go back since QRA started business relations with them way back in 2012. 

Standing beside a Pine Tree on my Birthday (27th November 2018) in Siheung City S Korea ! 

I have been to S Korea a total of 5 times in the past and each time, the place is very cold. It is best to bring winter wear once October approaches and when we were there in November,  the weather was below 10 deg C in the daytime and in the nighttime, it fell to close to 0 deg C. The economy of S Korea has been sluggish of late, and many Koreans have departed to look for better opportunities in business and work in other parts of Asia. There are quite a number of Korean people living and working in Singapore in retail, telcos, F & B and in the fashion accessories industry.

Since my company has always been in the equipment technology industry, we have been impressed by Paul's company , in particular his technical brilliance, his and his staff's work ethic as well as their openness to our business opportunities and risk management. 

Trying out the street food at -3 deg C ; an event to remember ! 

It is my fervent wish that if globaliszation is to be given a chance, then we can develop more business revenue and profits with his company as well as other Korean companies in the coming months and years. 

As a Small and Medium Enterprise taking its opportunities overseas, I can only hope for more cooperation with companies near and far and to make leverage on each of other's strengths - they provide the latest technological equipment at competitive prices ) and we provide market access - in this way both small companies can continue to grow and prosper together with a common goal of furthering our business advantages and uniquenesses.

Rudy standing 10 stories above ground at the Observation Tower. 

The Best Time for a Hard Run is a Rainy Morning or Evening 6th June 2019

Pensive after a hard 7 km run ; 6.50 pm  

Like the famous country singer, Eddy Rabbit, " I love a rainy night", I love a drizzly evening. Last Thursday, 2 evening's ago, it rained for the most of the afternoon, and I took the time to get off early from work and cap 2 rounds at the West Coast Park starting at 5.44 pm and finishing roughly at 6.30 pm for about 7 km.

The park is quite deserted, what with the slight drizzle which has cooled the roads which have soaked up all the heat of the day. Only a few people are in the park, kindred spirits like myself and I was in my element coming back from a short bout of 'flu just 1 week ago.

It felt really good to be back running and leaving a sweat trail, soaked to the bone in sweat and rain. 

Now, I have a 100 plus in hand, and cool down by the empty tennis court.

What a great feeling. 

  

Prince Kiss Music Video is almost 30 years ago and still has that "New Edgy" sound

Many people have touted the late Prince as far ahead of his time, I have to agree. His songs, his demeanor, his attitude and his musical genius were tremendous for us young people in the '80s.

Have a look at this video, it shows the androgynous Prince with his flexibility, his never can be taken too seriously attitude and his campy style which makes this music video one of my all time classics.

Very unfortunate he passed away too soon like so many of the great rock and pop stars of our time.

Our Piece De Resistance - Sports Institute ; Reference for the Athletic Chamber we sold and commisisoned in 2016

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/sport/the-singapore-sports-institute-facility-that-gave-top-shuttler-8966626

A heart breaking video about Children suffering due to Civil War ; what they want for Eid

This is such a heart-breaking video, wars are always tragic and the children suffer the most, mentally,physically and spiritually. The young girl who was first interviewed had to face the death of her father which she had to come to terms with at such a young age. The civil war in Syria is already into its 8th year. 

The interviewer asked these displaced Syrian kids what they wanted for Eid (end of Ramadan) and the answers left me choked with emotion.

Please share and do your small part to help ease their suffering. Donate your clothes, soft toys or money to this NGO. Do check up first before donating as I am in no way aligned or associated to this NGO (Non Governmental Organization)

Global Ehsan Relief 
www.global-ehsan-relief.org

I know I will do my small part.  

Random Photos of the Past

Camels by the Pyramids of Giza, Cairo Egypt Dec 2009 

One of the most unforgettable trips of the lifetime was the 13 day trip to Egypt, sipping Luxor Beer on the Nile, visiting the temples at Luxor, Karnak, Kom Ombo, the Aswan dam, Alexandria port city and of course the pyriamids at Giza as pictured above.

How an ancient civilization could build such massive structures withstanding 5000 years of the sand, wind and rain and with pinpoint accuracy on the incline of these massive structures is one of the world's 7 ancient wonders. 

Enjoying a cup of Vietnamese Weasel Coffee along the sidewalk in Ho Chi Minh with Ilhangkannan Narinasamy in 2011 

We had a great time 3 days in Ho Chi Minh in 2011, unfortunately the visit was marred by the fact that when we were there in November, Japan that very day was hit with a tremendous earthquake and led to the Fukushima nuclear plant closing and lots of people losing their lives to the tsunami. A real tragic time to be out having a coffee.   

At Tour Eiffel in 2008  

Named after the architech who designed this iconic structure, the Eiffel Tower started life as a radio tower in the 19th century and its iconic image has been the subject of millions of toursitic trinkets, photos, and novels all in the name of romance and love.

Just a couple of random photos from my past travelling to various countries.  

Christmas Day Lunch 2009

This scene is one I will always enjoy over and over again. I believe it was the Christmas Lunch traditionally held at my house. My extended family meets for 2 big occasions, the Chinese New Year 1st Day and the Reunion Dinner Eve as well as  the Christmas Day Lunch normally with my Mum calling all her siblings and close friends. 

The house is full of relatives, and my Dad is seated in his wheelchair away from the camera, while my Mum is facing the camera. There are many relatives and friends, and then my niece Hannah comes in and gives my Mum a present in her booming voice.

This brings back happy memories and joy when my parents were alive. 

Matsu Katze Shito Ryu Kata

I've almost forgotten this kata (form) so I decided to post it up here for easy access and revision. 

Why Do Singaporeans Complain So Much ?

At Como Lakeside 3 Dec 2023 

This is a rather touchy subject but I read a really good analysis of this topic and I would like to cite a Mr. Daniel Wong who is a learning and Developmental expert as well as a youth counsellor who wrote a fine piece in 2012 on this topic and the salient points are in the paragraph # 6. . But let me give a short piece of where we have come from in 5 paragraphs first. 

1.Singapore is a unique country having progressed spectacularly from an ex-British colony and seaport in the '50s and 60s, gaining independence from Malaysia on that fateful day 9th August 1965 and in the 54 years since has reached first world status in the last 1990s or in about 1 generation or 25 to 30 years. The country had recorded year on year growth rates of 18 - 20% in the 60s, dropping to the teens in the 70s and early 80s. We experienced our first major recession in 1985 -86 and then on it was a boom ride with growth rates above 10% for 10 years till the '97 Asian Financial Crisis. 

2. 2 generations are the lucky recipients of that growth led by the PAP Government helmed by the brilliant statesman Lee Kwan Yew then followed by his junior Mr. Goh Chok Tong and then the younger Mr. Lee Hsien Loong. On May 15th 2024 the baton of responsibility was passed to Mr. Lawrence Wong. 

3.Almost all of us have had our lives enriched  starting from a poor struggling backward seaport under British rule, then as prisoners under the Japanese followed by the post 2nd World War surge for independence. Our grandparents and parents suffered tremendously during those times. The people who lived  through these times after them - the Baby Boomers, the Millenials and the Gen Xers are the lucky ones 

4.So from about 1970 till 1997 or 27 years there was a record uplift of people's standard of living. Economic growth year on year would be easily 15% on average, with the exception of the 1985 economic crisis which was felt around the world including Singapore. After the 1997 -99 crisis, we had reached First World status. Things continued improving for most of the citizenry. However from 2000 till 2010, there was economic growth of around 4 - 8 % year on year, still much better than the Western countries. In 2011 till today growth has been quite tepid and weak, most years we record something like 1 - 4 % and the quality of life while there, our country has to added on many more new migrants. As a result of this, the pace of life is gotten faster, the competitiveness ever tougher, and the carefree days of the 60s and 70s are just a distant memory. We see foreigners in our midst in the lift, on the buses, MRT, on the roads and in our workplaces.The stresses are beginning to show, with housing prices peaking at an all time high in 2013 and starting to slide down - which is in fact good because there was a time when many people thought owing a small condominium was out of their financial reach during their lifetime, the price of COE has come down and is now  hovering (only) at  $40,000. There are more incidences (or is it due to the rise of social media sites like Stomp, and SGRoads ?) of poor social behaviour, rude passengers on the MRT, ang mohs bullying the locals and the rise of road rage. The root cause of many of these outbursts could be due to the fact that there are many more people living in the same small 800 km2 island which is getting more dense with each passing year. Not so long ago in the '80s we had roughly 3.5 million people overall living and working in Singapore. Now, we have added 2 million more give or have a total population of 5.5 million give or take a hundred thousand. The roads, the MRTs, the buses, and the streets are more congested - with many more foreign people living within our midst.  

5. Now in 2019, at 54 years of age, Singapore is still a very young country, our GDP per capita is the 3rd highest in the world, the airport is rated the world's best, the roads, streets and gardens clean and safe, we are fortunate to have hardly any drugs problem (strong deterrant laws with death penalty and caning implemented since early 1960s) the schools and Universities constantly being touted among Asia and the World's best. 

So why are Singaporeans always complaining about everything that annoys them ?  

a. WE BELIEVE THAT LIFE SHOULD BE FAIR WHEN IN FACT IT  IS  NOT

Life is not fair. We have been brought up with values of our parents to play fair, to win fair and square and not to be a sore loser. While the concept is very good, when we one day look around us, we see so much unfairness going around in the world, it confuses our simple logical minds that life is indeed fair. Why are some countries always experiencing natural disasters, famines, civil wars, typhoons, earthquakes,tsunamis while some don't ? Why some people seem to live charmed lives and never seem to be be in want ? The rest of us slog like minions just to make that days' or months' wages and pay for the roof over our heads.

Consider those guys who seem to live 'charmed lives'. Some 3rd generation scions in their 40s and 50s get a very nice windfall inheritance and many people look on enviously wishing they could have gotten it too. This is the story of Peter,  a 40 something ex-banker who acquired $40 plus million in assets and cash when his parents passed on recently. He told me that he will forever be judged as a 'rich man's son' and no matter how hard he strives from now on to make it good with his business ventures or investments, or even to continue working people will enviously say, "Oh he got so much to start with, he is basically born with a silver spoon in his mouth" - so in people's minds, he does not appear as a true 'self made man'. 

If he went into some venture and failed (fact is more than 90% of businesses fail within 3 years of starting up) these same people will be sharping their knives and with spiteful envious criticism and say,  "See, he is no good !"

So, in reality his situation will be 'lose - lose', that means he is damned either way from people who know him superficially. Does he  then complain about life being unfair ? 

Who will pity him ? No one. 

He will  probably go through the same amount of struggle and heartache which everyone goes through in life, including health issues, family and relationship challenges  like everyone else from the President of the country down to the poorest 10% of people. The fact that he has more money or assets than 99% of the country is irrelevant when he is on his deathbed and wishing he had spent more time with his family and people that mattered than trying to make it to the billionaires list. 

Singapore on the whole has been dealt a pretty good hand of cards. Just that this isn't a game of poker or gin rummy. I have travelled to a fair number of countries in my life and yes while many give the lovely experiences when you visit for several days up to 2 weeks, many countries in Asia and Europe are third world countries without many of the items listed below which Singapore has and Singaporeans have taken for granted : 

Safety, 
Racial and religious harmony
Freedom of worship
Excellent infrastructure
Class "A" roads, drains, parks, schools and public infrastructure. 

Yet, we still complain about many things, why the MRT breaks down so often, why so many of our Government institutions are being run by the BGs with no relevent experience. For every good thing that comes out in recent years there is always the negative spin to the occasion or bad service mouthed on a daily basis in the coffeeshops, the end to end chats on Whatsapp and all of the other social media outlets. 

We complain to dispense with our unhappiness ,but in a social setting, our foreign friends must think we Singaporeans are a spoilt, entitled and ungrateful lot. 

To a certain extent that is very true. 

To put our unhappiness to a target, the high ministers salaries will be routinely raised up to berate, and for example "see, pay so much for Minister and still MRT breakdown and delay" even though there is no correlation at all to the breakdown of the Mass Rapid Transit, and payment of the Minister's package.  
    
b. WE FEEL ENTITLED TO A GOOD LIFE 

Really ? Which handbook or Rulebook says Jane must be the Queen since her parents, grandparents gave her everything in her early life which they did not have so that she felt she was a 'princess' and hence was entitled to marry a Prince later on and live Happily Ever After !

Wake Up and Smell the Manure young Girls and Boys ! 

If you feel you are entitled to anything in life, I think you belong to Disney's Little Mermaid. Make believe and fairy tales are for you to wish upon a star, but Grow Up !! We have come this far because of the tremendous struggle all these 50 odd years and with no handouts, agriculture or rare earth to sell, Singapore had to slowly and meticulously build up the nest egg for us Singaporeans. Believe me, if these were open to everyone who needed money, it will not go far. 

We have to take complete responsibility of our lives and accept full responsibility that we and only ourselves will take the credit and the blame when we 'make it' or 'break it' in life.We can always blame the Government and complain that they have to improve here and there, but without coming up with a workable comprehensive solution to the problem (say frequent MRT breakdowns) the complainers are only adding to the general unhappy mood and creating a sour bubble. 

c. Complaining makes us feel Justified 

I complain because I am unhappy with the service, things can be much better, there is always this train delay during morning and evening peak hour. So I am justified in complaining, they better take my complaint seriously. 

Fact of the matter is, they do. And they are trying to remedy things. However improvements must be seen in the context of years. There will be no quick fixes to many of our aging infrastructure, only incremental improvements. See the systems of London, Paris, Budapest and the newer ones in Bangkok, HK, Tokyo. Every single one has some glitches and problems aplenty. 

Can we buy complete set of new trains ? Yes, but then again the SMRT has done so and will keep on doing so for the future.

To cast a longing glance backward when the MRT was new in 1989 is like you and I looking back at the 'salad days' everything was new, rosy, there were no complaints  then  - 

ARE YOU SURE ?? 

To Summarise, I would like to humbly suggest my 3 life concepts so that you, my dear blog reader can understand, empathise and internalise these. Once you have done so successfully, you will find there is no need to complain :

1. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. IT NEVER WAS AND IT NEVER WILL BE.

 Acceptance of this fact is key to relieving deep seated unhappiness and satisfaction. 

If you think you are in a difficult position in life, look at those around you. Take control of your situation and use your God given gifts and talents to get yourself out of the situation rather than moan and groan about how unfair life is. Get help from your TRUE friends and family. You must ascertain who are really your TRUE friends and family who will stand by you when you face crises and you will face crises eventually.

Everyone does.


2. WE WILL ALL DIE ONE DAY. NO AMOUNT OF MONEY, BUNGALOWS BY THE SEA, HERMES OR GUCCI BAGS,THE BEST SURGEONS OR EVEN THE SHAMANS WILL HELP YOU STAY 1 DAY LONGER ON THIS EARTH WHEN YOUR TIME COMES. 

Inscription on the wall of Tower Bridge London by the prisoners awaiting their fate, usually execution by beheading.

3.GIVE BACK TO THE LESS FORTUNATE. THERE ARE MANY IN OUR MIDST. IN DOING SO, WE OURSELVES FIND THAT WE ARE DOING SOMETHING REALLY MEANINGFUL WITH OUR LIVES. WE WILL BE SO BUSY HELPING OTHERS THAT WE WILL HAVE NO TIME TO COMPLAIN.

CARPE DIEM