Sunday, June 2, 2019

Why Do Singaporeans Complain So Much ?

This is a rather touchy subject but I read a really good analysis of this topic and I would like to cite a Mr. Daniel Wong who is a learning and Developmental expert as well as a youth counsellor who wrote a fine piece in 2012 on this topic and the salient points are in the paragraph # 6. . But let me give a short piece of where we have come from in 5 paragraphs,first. 

1.Singapore is a unique country having progressed spectacularly from an ex-British colony and seaport in the '50s and 60s, gaining independece from Malaysia on that fateful day 9th August 1965 and in the 54 years since has reached first world status in the last 1990s or in about 1 generation or 25 to 30 years. The country had recorded year on year growth rates of 18 - 20% in the 60s, dropping to the teens in the 70s and early 80s. We experienced our first major recession in 1985 -86 and then on it was a boom ride with growth rates above 10% for 10 years till the '97 Asian Financial Crisis. 

2. 2 generations are the lucky recipients of that growth led by the PAP Government helmed by the brilliant statesman Lee Kwan Yew then followed by his junior Mr. Goh Chok Tong and then the younger Mr. Lee Hsien Loong.

3.Almost all of us have had our lives enriched  starting from a poor struggling backward seaport under British rule, then as prisoners under the Japanese followed by the post 2nd World War surge for independence. Our grandparents and parents suffered tremendously during those times. The people who lived  through these times after them - the Baby Boomers, the Millenials and the Gen Xers are the lucky ones 

4.So from about 1970 till 1997 or 27 years there was a record uplift of people's standard of living.Economic growth year on year would be easily 15% on average, with the exception of the 1985 economic crisis which was felt around the world including Singapore.  After the 1997 -99 crisis, we had reached First World status. Things continued improving for most of the citizenry. However from 2000 till 2010, there was economic growth of around 4 - 8 % year on year, still much better than the Western countries. In 2011 till today growth has been quite tepid and weak, most years we record something like 1 - 4 % and the quality of life while there, our country has to added on many more new migrants. As a result of this, the pace of life is gotten faster, the competitiveness ever tougher, and the carefree days of the 60s and 70s are just a distant memory. We see foreigners in our midst in the lift, on the buses, MRT, on the roads and in our workplaces.The stresses are beginning to show, with housing prices peaking at an all time high in 2013 and starting to slide down - which is in fact good because there was a time when many people thought owing a small condominium was out of their financial reach during their lifetime, the price of COE has come down and is now  hovering (only) at  $40,000. There are more incidences (or is it due to the rise of social media sites like Stomp, and SGRoads ?) of poor social behaviour, rude passengers on the MRT, ang mohs bullying the locals and the rise of road rage. The root cause of many of these outbursts could be due to the fact that there are many more people living in the same small 800 km2 island which is getting more dense with each passing year. Not so long ago in the '80s we had roughly 3.5 million people overall living and working in Singapore. Now, we have added 2 million more give or have a total population of 5.5 million give or take a hundred thousand. The roads, the MRTs, the buses, and the streets are more congested - with many more foreign people living within our midst.  

5. Now in 2019, at 54 years of age, Singapore is still a very young country, our GDP per capita is the 3rd highest in the world, the airport is rated the world's best, the roads, streets and gardens clean and safe, we are fortunate to have hardly any drugs problem (strong deterrant laws with death penalty and caning implemented since early 1960s) the schools and Universities constantly being touted among Asia and the World's best. 

So why are Singaporeans always complaining about everything that annoys them ?  

a. WE BELIEVE THAT LIFE SHOULD BE FAIR WHEN IN FACT IT  IS  NOT

Life is not fair. We have been brought up with values of our parents to play fair, to win fair and square and not to be a sore loser. While the concept is very good, when we one day look around us, we see so much unfairness going around in the world, it confuses our simple logical minds that life is indeed fair. Why are some countries always experiencing natural disasters, famines, civil wars, typhoons, earthquakes,tsunamis while some don't ? Why some people seem to live charmed lives and never seem to be be in want ? The rest of us slog like minions just to make that days' or months' wages and pay for the roof over our heads.

Consider those guys who seem to live 'charmed lives'. Some 3rd generation scions in their 40s and 50s get a very nice windfall inheritance and many people look on enviously wishing they could have gotten it too. This is the story of Peter,  a 40 something ex-banker who acquired $40 plus million in assets and cash when his parents passed on recently. He told me that he will forever be judged as a 'rich man's son' and no matter how hard he strives from now on to make it good with his business ventures or investments, or even to continue working people will enviously say, "Oh he got so much to start with, he is basically born with a silver spoon in his mouth" - so in people's minds, he does not appear as a true 'self made man'. 

If he went into some venture and failed (fact is more than 90% of businesses fail within 3 years of starting up) these same people will be sharping their knives and with spiteful envious criticism and say,  "See, he is no good !"

So, in reality his situation will be 'lose - lose', that means he is damned either way from people who know him superficially. Does he  then complain about life being unfair ? 

Who will pity him ? No one. 

He will  probably go through the same amount of struggle and heartache which everyone goes through in life, including health issues, family and relationship challenges  like everyone else from the President of the country down to the poorest 10% of people. The fact that he has more money or assets than 99% of the country is irrelevant when he is on his deathbed and wishing he had spent more time with his family and people that mattered than trying to make it to the billionaires list. 

Singapore on the whole has been dealt a pretty good hand of cards. Just that this isn't a game of poker or gin rummy. I have travelled to a fair number of countries in my life and yes while many give the lovely experiences when you visit for several days up to 2 weeks, many countries in Asia and Europe are third world countries without many of the items listed below which Singapore has and Singaporeans have taken for granted : 

Safety, 
Racial and religious harmony
Freedom of worship
Excellent infrastructure
Class "A" roads, drains, parks, schools and public infrastructure. 

Yet, we still complain about many things, why the MRT breaks down so often, why so many of our Government institutions are being run by the BGs with no relevent experience. For every good thing that comes out in recent years there is always the negative spin to the occasion or bad service mouthed on a daily basis in the coffeeshops, the end to end chats on Whatsapp and all of the other social media outlets. 

We complain to dispense with our unhappiness,but in a social setting, our foreign friends must think we Singaporeans are a spoilt, entitled and ungrateful lot. 

To put our unhappiness to a target, the high ministers salaries will be routinely raised up to berate, and for example "see, pay so much for Minister and still MRT breakdown and delay" even though there is no correlation at all to the breakdown of the Mass Rapid Transit, and payment of the Minister's package.  
    
b. WE FEEL ENTITLED TO A GOOD LIFE 

Really ? Which handbook or Rulebook says Jane must be the Queen since her parents, grandparents gave her everything in her early life which they did not have so that she felt she was a 'princess' and hence was entitled to marry a Prince later on and live Happily Ever After !

Wake Up and Smell the Manure young Girls and Boys ! 

If you feel you are entitled to anything in life, I think you belong to Disney's Little Mermaid. Make believe and fairy tales are for you to wish upon a star, but Grow Up !! We have come this far because of the tremendous struggle all these 50 odd years and with no handouts, agriculture or rare earth to sell, Singapore had to slowly and meticulously build up the nest egg for us Singaporeans. Believe me, if these were open to everyone who needed money, it will not go far. 

We have to take complete responsibility of our lives and accept full responsibility that we and only ourselves will take the credit and the blame when we 'make it' or 'break it' in life.We can always blame the Government and complain that they have to improve here and there, but without coming up with a workable comprehensive solution to the problem (say frequent MRT breakdowns) the complainers are only adding to the general unhappy mood and creating a sour bubble. 

c. Complaining makes us feel Justified 

I complain because I am unhappy with the service, things can be much better, there is always this train delay during morning and evening peak hour. So I am justified in complaining, they better take my complaint seriously. 

Fact of the matter is, they do. And they are trying to remedy things. However improvements must be seen in the context of years. There will be no quick fixes to many of our aging infrastructure, only incremental improvements. See the systems of London, Paris, Budapest and the newer ones in Bangkok, HK, Tokyo. Every single one has some glitches and problems aplenty. 

Can we buy complete set of new trains ? Yes, but then again the SMRT has done so and will keep on doing so for the future.

To cast a longing glance backward when the MRT was new in 1989 is like you and I looking back at the 'salad days' everything was new, rosy, there were no complaints  then  - 

ARE YOU SURE ?? 

To Summarise, I would like to humbly suggest my 3 life concepts so that you, my dear blog reader can understand, empathise and internalise these. Once you have done so successfully, you will find there is no need to complain :

1. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. IT NEVER WAS AND IT NEVER WILL BE.

 Acceptance of this fact is key to relieving deep seated unhappiness and satisfaction. 

If you think you are in a difficult position in life, look at those around you. Take control of your situation and use your God given gifts and talents to get yourself out of the situation rather than moan and groan about how unfair life is. Get help from your TRUE friends and family. You must ascertain who are really your TRUE friends and family who will stand by you when you face crises and you will face crises eventually.

Everyone does.


2. WE WILL ALL DIE ONE DAY. NO AMOUNT OF MONEY, BUNGALOWS BY THE SEA, HERMES OR GUCCI BAGS,THE BEST SURGEONS OR EVEN THE SHAMANS WILL HELP YOU STAY 1 DAY LONGER ON THIS EARTH WHEN YOUR TIME COMES. 





Inscription on the wall of Tower Bridge London by the prisoners awaiting their fate, usually execution by beheading.


3.GIVE BACK TO THE LESS FORTUNATE. THERE ARE MANY IN OUR MIDST. IN DOING SO, WE OURSELVES FIND THAT WE ARE DOING SOMETHING REALLY MEANINGFUL WITH OUR LIVES. WE WILL BE SO BUSY HELPING OTHERS THAT WE WILL HAVE NO TIME TO COMPLAIN.





CARPE DIEM 


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